Archive for October, 2013

Who needs satire when this is happening in China?

The headquarters of the Chinese propaganda mouthpiece People’s Daily in Beijing has been likened to gigantic part of the male anatomychina reports Shanghaiist. A gold-plated knob to further f**k Tibetan and Chinese citizens with their ‘news stories’.

A People’s Daily spokesperson said: ‘Well we are so sick of the world saying Asian men have small dicks, now we can say we have the world’s biggest dick.’

As if this were not enough knobbishness, the Chinese government has issued a 64-page handbook, called the ‘Guidebook for Civilised Tourism’, to stop Chinese tourists from damaging the country’s image abroad.  The code of conduct for Chinese travellers includes advice about not picking their noses in public. Shock, horror.

Left out of the guidebook by the Chinese censors was advice for Chinese travellers  when faced with ‘awkward’ foreigner questions about Chinese politics. Offensive responses such as ‘Tibet has always been a part of China’ and ‘there are no human rights abuses in China’ were still felt to be appropriate, despite the fact such statements make the Chinese sound like a bunch of brainwashed idiots.  How about a ‘Guidebook for the Civilised Treatment of Chinese and Tibetan citizens’, please?

Meanwhile, the government have now suggested spending $40 billion on a cable car over the Great Wall of China so celebrities and VIPs, like Justin Bieber, do not have to undergo the humiliation of being carried by servants.